andie, she/her, 26, united states. this blog is full of Tolkien. also other art, photos, fandoms, and big-eyes-emoji stuff, but mostly Tolkien. i tag! my girlfriend is bright ivanaskye, who is a lot, but not too much
I’ve just unearthed a dbz fic I wrote when I was in fifth
grade in which Bulma refers to Vegeta’s genocidal tendencies by stating that “everyone
makes mistakes from time to time” so from now on if tumblr has an issue with
villain apologism they can take it up with 11 year old me
Another cursed Silmarillion concept: Maedhros never existed. He was an uncle-sam type charachter fabricated by the Noldor to drum up patriotism with fantastical stories of his defiance of melkor and his valor in battle.
Vmae, that’s one of the most Cursed things you’ve ever said
He’s the Paul Bunyan of middle earth. He’s folklore.
“Yeah well I HEARD the Prince is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ELF IN BELERIAND” “He withstood melkor’s torture for 40 YEARS” “They cut of his HAND and he STILL goes to war!” “The ORCS are scared to even LOOK at him!” “He’s the KINDEST ELF he tries to rescue abandoned kids from forests!!” “Yeah well I heard he personally told Sauron to go fuck himself” “He’s a feanorian but he’s A GOOD ONE, he, like, totally REFUSED to burn the boats!” “HE’S TALL AS FUCK. THE BIGGEST ELF.”
See? No way is this a real man. This is a fake man. He’s propaganda. He’s a thing of legend. He’s the “Ideal Soldier” that they tell you about in PT before you go off to defend middle earth.
The true lesson of Homestuck is that if you want your alien OCs to become popular, provide one (1) suggestively bizarre detail about their reproductive biology and adamantly refuse to elaborate.
and the lord of the rings. tolkien invented whole languages and cultures and mythologies and histories, and the staggering enormity of the worldbuilding tolkein accomplished is only ever hinted at in the actual corpus of the lord of the rings, but he never wrote down the elf words for cock and balls
False, the elf word for cock is “gwib.”
In Quenya or Sindarin?
Neither, technically – it’s proto-Noldorin. The “gwî” root is carried forward in the official Sindarin lexicon in “gwaith,” which means “a group/a people,” and also specifically “a group of men” (and apparently “manhood” which is apropos as well.)
girls only want one thing and it’s a scrying falcon that they can send out to survey the land for their enemies and they can see what it sees through a crystal ball