andie, she/her, 26, united states. this blog is full of Tolkien. also other art, photos, fandoms, and big-eyes-emoji stuff, but mostly Tolkien. i tag! my girlfriend is bright ivanaskye, who is a lot, but not too much
happily imagining wet angry balrog like a cat being given a bath
“Stop right there. Where do you think you’re going, Molgoth?”
The balrog froze in the doorway, somehow conveying guilt without having any static physical features. It stood there on its three (four… now three again…) legs, billowing slightly.
“You’re going to track ash everywhere,” said Melkor. “If you want to come into my hall you will not do so until you are clean.”
Molgoth made a grating shushing noise with a hint of a whine. Melkor, wearily, diverted a great deal of water from the air and sprayed it at the balrog, washing black ash and probably all sorts of other filth down the steps. It left behind a skeletal form dripping with tar-black slime, shivering at the entrance to the hall.
“I take it back,” said Melkor. “You are incapable of being clean. I’ll receive your report outside.”
That dragon can do taxes! What an advanced and prolific member of society. That is, unless the two are conspiring to use the dragon’s horde as an elaborate money laundering scheme…
“Yeah, we’re businessmen. Members of the community. We take care of business.”
And the Valar drew unto them many companions, some less, some well nigh as great as themselves, and they laboured together in the ordering of the Earth and the curbing of its tumults. Then Melkor saw what was done, and that the Valar walked on Earth as powers visible, clad in the raiment of the World, and were lovely and glorious to see, and blissful, and that the Earth was becoming as a garden for their delight, for its turmoils were subdued. His envy grew then the greater within him; and he also took visible form, but because of his mood and the malice that burned in him that form was dark and terrible. And he descended upon Arda in power and majesty greater than any other of the Valar, as a mountain that wades in the sea and has its head above the clouds and is clad in ice and crowned with smoke and fire; and the light of the eyes of Melkor was like a flame that withers with heat and pierces with a deadly cold.
Local property owner Morgoth Bauglir, formerly Melkor of the Ainur, claims that he didn’t have any suspicions about an unnamed woman who bypassed the security systems of his dark fortress and got all the way to his living room before attracting attention.
“Look, I thought she was a stripper,” Bauglir claimed. “She danced really pretty, and she did this thing with her hair in front of her face, and she even sang – no of ******* course I don’t remember what it was about, do I look like I keep track of those kinds of things? Why are you even still here? Why is no one looking for my Silmaril?”
Primary suspect Luthien Tinuviel and an unnamed accomplice, a mortal man tentatively identified as trespasser and would-be kidnapper Beren Camlost, escaped Bauglir’s home with a jewel rumored to be worth the loyalty of four Fëanorians. Camlost allegedly slept through the heist, though Tinuviel woke him in time to make their escape.
Further damages were incurred to Bauglir’s face and his prized guard-dog Carcharoth, last seen fleeing the scene with a bloody mouth. Tinuviel is also suspected of arson at Tol-in-Gaurhoth earlier this month.
Bauglir’s lieutenant, the groundskeeper of
Tol-in-Gaurhoth, could not be reached for comment.
so i just started reading the silmarillion and let me tell you, i was not expecting this much drama. the very first chapter is about ilúvatar and the creation of arda and it honestly just reads like a bunch of students arguing over who gets credit for the group project
“fuck off melkor you didn’t even help with the powerpoint”
ephal ephalak idon hi-akallabeth 