good elrond op
Tag: i guess
I just went to a new hairstylist and I made sure to style my hair so she could see its texture and I asked her to cut it dry bc my last stylist didn’t even Know what a diffuser was and always wanted to straighten it
So she gets out a brush which is when I knew I was in trouble and just started at the roots and started ripping through my hair lmao!!!!
When will I ever get to rest
I really shoulda just gotten up and left when she got out the brush but I got too little sleep to advocate for my own scalp
Hair-stylists are so hard to communicate with. They so rarely understand “not straight”. Show ‘em a men’s cropped haircut, they give you a Hilary Clinton bob. Show up with curls and they bring out the brush.
I interview stylists. I state that I have curly hair and then ask a few questions. If I don’t like the answers, I politely decline the service.
Interesting trend I noticed? Curly haired stylists tend to be better at managing the curls. And African American stylists are even better about it.
My hair is more “extremely wavy” than curly, and I wear it long and down, so white hairstylists can usually figure out how to do it—but only after complaining loudly, being visibly distressed, or even berating me for having the kind of hair I do.
I go out of my way to find non-white hairstylists at this point….
I had to go waaaayyy out of my way and pay extra for a hair stylist who was Officially Certified To Cut Curly Hair (apparently it’s called DIVA??? lol) bc no regular ones have been able to fathom what to do w my hair.

I have some better drawings done, but i was whining for porn ideas and someone suggested ‘your 2 fav tolkien characters together.’ This has a Bad answer, but reminded me of a gogol post inventing the fic trope ‘audition to be my daughter’s boytoy’ so i was inspired, then forgot for 3 months.
Anyway it’s Galadriel and Elrond at some point in the 1,700+ years between Elrond falling in love with Celebrian and actually marrying her. The easy answer to why it took so long is of course ‘too much War Stuff’ but consider: that’s not as embarrassing.

“Woods were ringed with a colour so soft, so subtle that it could scarcely be said to be a colour at all. It was more the idea of a colour – as if the trees were dreaming green dreams or thinking green thoughts.” – Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell

“I become a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God.”
Transparent eyeball (circa 1936), by Christopher Pearse Cranch (1813-1892).
The Screwtape Letters are so charming holy shit
“In the second place, since his ideas about her soul will be very crude and often erroneous, he will, in some degree, be praying for an imaginary person, and it will be your task to make that imaginary person daily less and less like the real mother — the sharp-tongued old lady at the breakfast table. In time, you may get the cleavage so wide that no thought or feeling from his prayers for the imagined mother will ever flow over into his treatment of the real one.”
“I divide the causes of human laughter into Joy, Fun, the Joke Proper, and Flippancy. You will see the first among friends and lovers reunited on the eve of a holiday. Among adults some pretext in the way of Jokes is usually provided, but the facility with which the smallest witticisms produce laughter at such a time shows that they are not the real cause. What that real cause is we do not know. Something like it is expressed in much of that detestable art which the humans call Music, and something like it occurs in heaven — a meaningless acceleration in the rhythm of celestial experience, quite opaque to us. Laughter of this kind does us no good and should always be discouraged. Besides, the phenomenon is of itself disgusting and a direct insult to the realism, dignity, and austerity of Hell.”
“But flippancy is the best of all. In the first place it is very economical. Only a clever human can make a real Joke about virtue, or indeed about anything else; any of them can be trained to talk as if virtue were funny. Among flippant people the Joke is always assumed to have been made. No one actually makes it; but every serious subject is discussed in a manner which implies that they have already found a ridiculous side to it [….] it is quite free from the dangers inherent in the other sources of laughter. It is a thousand miles away from joy: it deadens, instead of sharpening, the intellect; and it excites no affection between those who practice it.”
The Lord Of The Rings / Sauron Annatar
Maeglin apologizes to Idril.
Mushroom 🍄
i.
No one knew who picked the right ones first, but the hobbits had their own sayings to sort one mushroom from another. It served them well now and had served them well for as long as they remembered, and that was good enough for them.
First, there were poisonous ones that had grown from the rotted flesh of evil things long ago, bloated red or shaped like goblin’s ears or wolves’ toes. There were the ones that were pure white and yet more difficult to find than all others, which had been carried in from the darkest caverns of the dwarves in their carven mountain halls and left to cluster deep in the shadows. Then there were the delicate little pointed-capped ones that turned even the most sensible hobbit into an utter fool, which the elves had planted in their footprints at midnight and filled with a lot of nonsense, so as to share their dreams with other folk.
And there were the brown ones, round or crinkled or knobbly, which were the best for eating, fragrant and chewy and delicious with all manner of little variations in flavor, so remarkable that it was said that in some long-ago time past the edges of memory, they had brought the little folk the favor of a king. All hobbits craved these mushrooms, but the other kinds were — well. They made for a mighty poor second breakfast, so why bother?
ii.
It was still raining lightly and the night was near pitch black, but Belladonna knew that the clouds would be drifting off into the east soon enough. She had pan and tinder and tools and food, and two lanterns, and she knew the place she was going. It had rained heavily for only a few hours this evening after the last dry spell, and she was going to see all the mushrooms come out.
Left and right, and around the hung-over oak and between the dense ash. It was barely drizzling now, and the air was warm and heavy. Into the well-known clearing she came, and on to where the path turned downwards, between close dark trees. There she stopped for a moment –
(“Don’t be a fool now, I wouldn’t put it past old Gerontius to serve them fairy-caps to company if they annoyed him enough, but d’you really think that family needs an excuse to be crazy?”)
— and held her arms in to avoid getting soaked by the inward-hanging leaves on both sides as she plunged into the darkness down and curving leftwards until it widened, suddenly. Belladonna stepped in, lantern high and cutting swathes of transparent light through the haze and turning all the dripping wet green into curtains encrusted with sparkling amber. A dell like a bowl with the biggest and oldest trees curling around it, with branches and roots like fingers on a pair of closed hands. It was darker here than anywhere before, but on one side it opened up to a grassy ridge overhanging the farmland, and the mountains could be seen in the west. It was long after midnight now, and the air was still. Belladonna lowered her lantern in a long slow arc and peered at the ground, searching. Once, and then again –
There were mushrooms, brown ones spread out in rings and spirals all around, waiting for hobbits to pick the tastiest ones. There were a couple of poisonous ones too, gleaming dark red with white spots. There were porcelain-white dwarf mushrooms in close huddles retreating into the darkest hollows of the outskirts of the dell, still collapsed and shrunken close to the ground, and so numerous that their wet gleam in the lantern’s light made the air around them seem to glow and dispel the shadows around them. But up on a grassy bank beside an enormous elm was a row of tiny pointed pale-brown fairy-caps, tiny and drab but to her eye, as obstinate in formation as if they had stood there in old elf-footprints forever, and had brewed whatever dreams or nonsense had lived inside them forever too.
iii
She prepared carefully. A dozen large meaty brown mushrooms picked and placed in her pockets, and then the cooking fire, low and stable. Her pan she placed beside it, and a knife and a wooden spoon, a bottle of cooking oil, and thyme, rosemary, toe-sprouts and door-curls, an onion and a filled pipe. She settled on one elbow, thinking of roads and wizards and her vanished great-uncles and mountains bluer than the sky. She lit her pipe with an ember, folded her arms beneath her head, and looked up at the sky, and the stars breaking through in the west. She held up a pair of fairy-caps in her cupped hands in the firelight, and then carefully ate them.
Later, there was a slow rushing and a play of frolicking spirits in the crackling fire, and twined round the trees where the flickering red light leaped, and time slipped backwards and kicked up its heels. The stars wheeled high over Belladonna’s head, slowly yet not slowly, for the sky was as vast as the world and still more vast and yet the stars swung over all its lands in perfect time, in a single night, as steady and implacable as a wound clock. Beside her swiftly, yet she knew not swiftly, for they moved an inch yet more slowly than the stars, the glowing white mushrooms drank deep of rainwater sweeter than moonlight and grew up out of the loose black soil and raised heads strong and full with satisfied broad-brimmed caps tipping and unfurling on smooth lengthening stalks, letting down lace trains and veils of the same white and spreading them daintily wide, like a dozen brides rising from a curtsy.
She thought the ground she lay on was covered in footprints, of people who had been, those buried in the cemetery back home and those who had passed through, towards the sea or out of it, or from under one mountain to another. The air was growing brighter and she looked at the blue mountains in the distant west with their ragged plunging cleft, and thought she saw from their shape that they might have been whole once, before they were broken apart by forces stronger than the stuff of the earth. The stars wheeled fainter in their paling vault, and she thought she knew that there were no fences between the Shire and the wide world, or between the wide world and the Shire, for all the hills and water was the world, and all the world to the stars was but the palm of a cradling hand.
She sat up and stoked the fire in a snapping gust of sparks, and set on it her pan and a bit of cooking oil. On a stone she sliced onion, herbs, and the mushrooms from her pocket, thin and careful with a steady brown hand. Into the oil they went with a hiss and a crackle, and then as water burst from them at the touch of salt, a deep sizzle of morning to make the mouth water.
The fragrance of the mushrooms bloomed rich and more vividly colored than anything she had seen that night. It rippled outward and gently rolled the night back where it touched, rich and nutty and deep sharp green and stinging hot. And it carried on its edge bustling feet and a whistling kettle and distant cows and roosters, the splash of water and clang of breakfast in wrought iron and gleaming copper, the broad warm red bricks on the fresh dancing hearth, and the wide circle, bright as a new penny, of blushing sunrise through the window of her mother’s kitchen.