Tag: haleth

If this crossover happens after the late 400s, does this mean we’re after the death of canon Haleth?

imindhowwelayinjune:

Haleth sighed. “Can you stop staring at me like that, please?”

“Did I ever look at you that creepy?” Caranthir scowled at his heavy browed double, who was hunched in the corner of their kitchen with both hands resting on a double-headed battle-axe. “You should have punched me in the face.”

“Couldn’t reach.” Haleth chewed her sandwich and kept one eye on the hulking knight in the corner. “Otherwise solid advice. Hey, do you want to come over and talk? Otherwise I’m going to have to ask you to point that glare at the wall, it’s putting me off my tuna.”

The armored Caranthir grunted, hesitated, then propped his axe against the stove and clanked over to the breakfast nook. 

“I believed you dead,” he growled. “And here you are, younger than ever I knew you. Where have you been hiding? Why did you feel the need to so deceive me?”

“Catch up,” said Caranthir loudly. “You are not in your world, you are the D&D version of me, and she is not your Haleth.”

“Not anyone’s,” put in Haleth. “Pass the mustard.”

Caranthir and Caranthir reached for the bottle at the same time and Caranthir drew back just in time before his fingers were engulfed by a gauntleted hand. 

“I saw Felagund here lurking,” said the other Caranthir, clutching the mustard bottle. “Did you prefer his lands to mine in this world as well?” His face, curtained by shaggy black hair, was starting to go red. 

Caranthir looked taken aback. “Who, Finrod?” He looked at Haleth. “I don’t think so…”

Haleth grinned and said through her mouthful of sandwich, “Nah man, it was your doppelbud right here who chose to plant his flag in Finrod’s earth, if you know what I – ”

“What?” said the other Caranthir, just as Caranthir said, “Shut UP, Hal.”

“Art thou both mocking me?” said the other Caranthir in dangerous tones, redder than ever and reaching for his battle axe. “Wretched pixies, I knew you both must be, in bizarre amalgams of – ”

“Chill,” said Haleth, finishing her sandwich. “We’ll help. Moryo, you still got some of that Humbolt gold on you?”

–

In the back of the van, the other Caranthir stretched, far more at ease than they had yet seen him. He exhaled a long breath as they had shown him and visibility in the van decreased significantly.

“Vana’s pipeweed grows strong here indeed,” he rumbled. “Mmm. Whoa.”

“Pass the bong,” said Caranthir, reaching, and his double passed him the helmet they’d been smoking out of.

“Hast thou ever really looked at thine hand?” The other Caranthir stared at the gauntlets in his lap. “ ‘s just. Wild, so ‘tis.”

“Amen, brother,” said Caranthir, inhaling.

“So tell me about other Haleth,” said Haleth, blinking through the smoke. “How much ass did she kick?”

“All of it,” said the other Caranthir. “ ‘Struth. She kicked all of it.”

silmarillion!

houseofhaleth:

Okay I’ve been thinking all day and like…of COURSE I want more female characters, more people of colour that aren’t two dimensional villains, more stories where x narrative doesn’t punish y character for z fault and yes hello some dialogue would be nice…

…and if whatever 5 things I picked were changed then we’d have something excellent! But what we had would not resemble the Silmarillion very much.

It’s massively flawed in many ways but I’d still be sad if it didn’t exist. We can still have those other (*cough* better) stories because that’s what fandom is for. Soooo…..here’s my list of utterly trivial things I’d change about the Silmarillion:

1. Okay no I’d still have more women like come on give me one or two more.

2. Instead of Rochallor, Fingolfin rides an actual lion

3. Finrod literally sparkles

4. We get one scene of Miriel weaving all the Noldor drama like “…he did WHAT”

5. Occasionally Haleth appears as a ghost when characters have got themselves into awkward situations. She doesn’t offer any sage advice, just laughs uproariously and leaves. She appears to Túrin on five separate occasions.