metagorgon:

gasmaskaesthetic:

This is a blog about a zucchini grown on the International Space Station in 2012, written from the perspective of the zucchini. Enjoy.

https://blogs.nasa.gov/letters/2012/04/03/post_1333471169633/

My roots are not hermetically sealed in this bag, they have access to gas exchange with the cabin air.  My roots are thus exposed in this transparent bag, naked to the universe.  Embarrassed, it took me a few days to get over the idea that anyone can see my roots without any dirt covering them.

My gardener fusses with my leaves.  I am not sure if I like that.  I now have four and I do not quite understand why he behaves this way.  He sticks his nose up against them.  Does he take me for some sort of a handkerchief?  Apparently he takes pleasure in my earthy green smell.  There is nothing like the smell of living green in this forest of engineered machinery.  I see the resultant smile.  Maybe this is one of my roles as a crewmember on this expedition.

I have a call sign.  I guess a call sign is a fighter pilot thing and was surprised that I could earn such a title.  At first someone suggested “Four-Leaf”.  I was a bit embarrassed when I heard this since I still only sport four leaves and feel a bit sensitive to this fact.  My gardener intervened and said that would not do.  He gave me my call sign – “Rose”.

My gardener made special arrangements for a two way video conference with a special Earth-flower.  When all the arrangements had been made, he took me from my window and placed me center stage in front of the video camera.  She was a very attractive flower all neatly dressed.  He said to her, “I can not offer you much; I can only give you a space zucchini.”  The image of my orange blossom was beamed across the void between spacecraft and Earth.  Her heart melted.  I felt as much a rose as any rose could ever be.

gingerhaze:

Confession: I’m like SUPER INTERESTED in dwarf/elf romance. Cmon, size difference/odd couples, what’s not to love? Only, I’d be MORE into it if they were both just a little less human-looking. Don’t give me this sexy-dwarf BS – they would be into each other BECAUSE they are so different. I think elves and dwarves just have a huge secret attraction for each other that it is just kind of taboo to mention. So they take it out by being mean to each other.

This was gonna be Tauriel and Kili (only Kili is a lady dwarf, as is my headcanon), but it could also be Legolas and Gimli. I mean, they’re both from races with very little sexual dimorphism, so they could be any combination of sex/gender you can think of with no visible difference. They’re going to build a combination cave house with treehouse tower so they can both be in their element and live happily ever after.

eskfurb:

onefell:

I made furby a small creature in my dnd campaign. There are a few different subspecies but most have large eyes, two legs, and beaks. They have the ability to mimick spoken words and a limited capacity to understand language. Mostly they like to PARTY and DOO DOO DO DO DO DOO

PUT FURBY IN YOUR D&D GAME

shroomlings:

LYCOPERDON PERLATUM

Also known as
common puffball, warted puffball or devil’s snuffbox. This is a 
widespread

type of mushroom that grows in
in fields, gardens, and along roadsides, as well as in grassy clearings in woods. The one in the picture was found in a sunny clearing in otherwise dense woodland in Lower Bavaria, Germany.

It is edible when young (when the internal flesh is completely white).
Referred to as “poor man’s sweetbread”, the sliced fruit
bodies can be fried in batter or egg and
breadcrumbs, or can be used in soups as a substitute for dumplings. A 1861 recipe recommends them dried and served with salt, pepper, and oil.  Puffballs become inedible as they mature and care must be taken to avoid confusion with immature fruit bodies of poisonous Amanita species.

radiantanor:

vardasvapors

👀👀 i wonder if this can apply to like, the ocean. a raincloud? strategically lure a vampire into a thunderstorm, while a priest follows in a stormchasing van

I was going to say ‘yep, totally’, but then I started googling…  so, the process involves some relatively lenghty prayers, including one about exorcism (I mean, not that lengthy but too long to try blessing the water inside of a vampire’s body or smth. also, I got this from a wikihow article). They also put salt into it, which is blessed separately, but I think that’s not necessary, and sometimes ashes. There’s sadly nothing about maximum distance from the water so I’m not sure if the storm thing would work, but there was an article about a priest in Romania who blessed a town’s water supply so old people who couldn’t make it to church would still have access to holy water 🙂